I’m not going to hide it. Today was tough. It didn’t start out bad for me, but it certainly is ending on a bitter note.
It all started when a family member commented that I’m spending too much time at the gym. At this point, I’m averaging about 1 hour a day between 3 and 5 days a week. I go in the evening immediately after work and I’m usually home by 6:30 p.m. (or one hour after my daughter comes home).
Sure, I could spend this hour with my daughter but my head knows that every hour I spent at the gym is (hopefully) extending the many years of my life I will have with my daughter. I’m very focused on my health at this point because it’s imperative that I change my lifestyle to finally live.
I hope the person that said this to me tonight reads this and realizes just how much it hurt. I am killing myself at the gym, spending a fortune on memberships and trainer fees so I can finally get my life back. I don’t want to be overweight anymore. I want to finally live and be happy.
Yes, I’m sacrificing about 5-8 hours a week with my daughter, but I’m gaining so much more. I can finally run with her, not run for 2 seconds and feel like death. When she starts softball next summer, I’ll actually be in a shape to play and practice with her. Isn’t that important?
How can I expect my daughter to live a healthy lifestyle if I’m not setting an example for her. I’m her role model (I hope) and I know she looks up to me. She told me so when she said she wants to be “just like me… except she doesn’t want to be fat.”
It pains me to think that person that said this to me has no right to tell me how to live my life, regardless of his relationship in my life. More importantly, my entire family has been griping at him for years to change his own habits but he gives us excuse after excuse. I use to feel bad, but I know that doctors have told him if he lost weight he’d feel better – yet nothing changes.
But this is not the place to get extremely personal. The other reason I’m really bummed is there’s a competition at the gym called “The Biggest Winner” that involves a personal training package. I’ve been really hyped up on this competition since my nutritionist told me about it a month ago. It’s drawing near and tonight I was told the details of the cost and I was shocked to discover it’s $375 for one month. I was under the impression it was just a little bit less.
This astronomical cost is a bit concerning, obviously, with Christmas. I desperately want to do it though. I wish I could just hit the powerball or megamillion tonight to come up with the money because I know it would be a dream come true.
The competition includes four personal training sessions a week (yes FOUR training session) in a group at 1 hour in length each. My trainer is one of the competition trainers too. He’s amazing and I want to do it with him so desperately bad. There’s also nutrition counseling and other stuff included.
Basically, it’s a “hold you hand” type competition / plan that helps you really get moving. I’m doing good with my weight loss, but I know this plan can help me do better.
I talked to Matt tonight about it and while I know it’s likely not going to happen – short of winning the lottery – I desperately wish there was some way to make it work. I want this so badly that I’m reduced to tears attempting to figure, budget or find money to make this happen.
Sign ups haven’t started, but I know the best trainers fill up fast and mine is one of those trainers. I haven’t heard exactly when it’s going to go up but I’m running out of ideas on how to make this happen.
I haven’t given up hope that I will find a way to make this happen, but right now the grim reality it’s likely not. I’m going to talk to the gym to see if MAYBE there’s a payment plan I can be put on or just about anything I can do to make this happen.
I need this in my life. When I train with Jackson, I do so much better. Just these last two weeks have been incredible. I feel amazing and I know I’m losing more now than I did on my own. I know I can do this on my own – I’ve got the motivation – but I want results and this chance will give me the results I need and want so desperately.
I guess we’ll see what happens over the next few weeks. Maybe the guy misquoted the price (which would be awesome) and it’s actually cheaper. Maybe the Houston Texans will get 33 points this week in their game to hit the 33 pool (which would be awesome as well). Maybe I’ll hit the megamillion tonight or the powerball tomorrow and my problems will be solved.
Here’s hoping things look better for me tomorrow. I’m still pushing forward and if I don’t get to do this, I’m not giving up but damn it I hope I figure it out somehow. There must be a way to make it work. There simply MUST be a way to succeed.