Well, it happened. Sarris got the best of me……
I’m not going to make excuses, but I’m just going to say – it’s been a BAD day.
Let’s start with the why…
It started yesterday when I got home from the gym and my husband told me our daughter got another note from her teacher (mind you… she’s only 4). Bella apparently had a very bad day yesterday. When she was finished with her school work, she proceeded to act up. To make a long story short, it just got worse as the day went on. Her teacher wanted us to be aware because her actions caused her to lose her earned treat from class. I support that decision FULLY.
Well, upon getting home … she hadn’t had a nap. She also hasn’t been feeling well battling a cold. Bella had a melt down and stormed up the stairs, threw herself on her bed in true drama queen fashion and ended up falling asleep.
We, unfortunately, allowed her to sleep the rest of the night. Figuring maybe she was just exhausted. No nap, not feeling well…. We all know how that goes. Boy were we wrong!
Fast-forward to 2:00 a.m. … we’re sound asleep in our bed… and then it starts.
“Mom… I’m hungry.”
Ok fine… we tell her to go downstairs and grab something. She has a plethora of things to choose from (fruit, cereal, etc.) all ready and available for her. We try to let her be independent.
She comes back upstairs. We hoped she’d just go back to bed.
Nope … WIDE awake.
“Mom … I want to go downstairs and watch TV.”
Seeing this is a lose-lose situation … Daddy turns on the bedroom TV. I drift in and out of sleep / awake for the next 4 hours. This is naturally from the constant position changing of my kid (squeezed between us, sitting on me, snuggling with me, leaning on me… you get the point).
When I’ve drifted my last time and am forced to get up, I discover my husband used the last of the milk. My daughter (at some point) messed with the mini fridge and turned up the temperature so the soy milk was also frozen. At this point, I’m exhausted, hungry and really irritable.
I throw oatmeal, fruit, ice and protein powder in to a blender and pray it doesn’t taste disgusting because I’m THAT hungry and I’m running really, really late. Surprisingly, the shake wasn’t a disaster. I missed the creamy taste from the milk that masks the chalky taste, but it sufficed for the time being.
Dropped Bella off about 10 minutes later than normal and her teacher was there. I spent the next 15 minutes discussing my kids behavior with her and letting her know we fully support her firm approach with our child.
The day at work hasn’t been that much more wonderful to be honest. Now at 2:00 p.m. … I simply couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed my buck and headed to the kitchen. I just NEEDED chocolate.
I know what you’re all going to say – it’s will power, I’m better than this… etc. etc. but let me tell you… that chocolate tasted like pure heaven and actually did make me feel better.
Now the point where you’ll be proud of me because after my post yesterday, I’m more aware of what I was grabbing and all the bad calories that were coming along with them.
I took my candy bar and broke it in half. I put ½ in my desk drawer and locked it (yes this is sad, but it’s working). I took the other half and broke it out to six pieces (something I’ve never done before). I took five pieces and put them on a napkin at the corner of my desk, well out of immediate reach of my arm. I took the 1st piece and actually just let it melt in my mouth. Not chew, not devour… just melt.
In our last meeting, Maria (who’s running our contest) talked about “enjoying” your food. I can honestly say … this is the first time I felt like I actually enjoyed my chocolate bar. I could kill a whole bar in five minutes… but this half of a bar actually took me a good 45 minutes to fully eat.
Putting the candy on the corner of my desk required me to consciously reach for it. I had to turn and reach. Not readily available next to me. Thus, I didn’t always grab a piece right when one was finished. I spaced them out.
Ok so I consumed about 130 empty calories because I’m having a bad day, but it could have easily been 260 and I likely wouldn’t have been satisfied. Now I’ve also got 130 more empty calories to eat another day when I remember it’s in there!
I guess my point is … while I caved and had a moment of weakness. I’ve learned how to control that weakness. I felt that I MUST have chocolate so I got some; however, I’m smart enough to satisfy that need and then save the rest for another day. I think that’s a lesson worth being proud about!